[ Alberto cocks a judgmental brow at that decline as he takes his first sip of his own, setting the pot back down and giving Chara a flat stare over the brim of his cup. ]
Ooookaaayyy...
[ He files that fact away. He knows he has gelato in the freezer, but he figures he'll wait to reveal that fact until the real meal's already underway. Not that Alberto's opposed to dessert before dinner. Or dessert as dinner. He's just already determined here.
So, with another hearty sip of his own espresso, he sets it down on the counter and starts ripping off a bunch of bits from each of the bundles of dried herbs he has hanging, laying them together on a well-worn wooden cutting board, and grabs the mezzaluna from the knife rack, and hands it gracelessly to Chara. ]
[Hey at least they were somewhat polite in their decline! They could have been much much ruder about it.
And oh boy, that is some kind of knife that has been handed to them. Or... A weird chopping thing, either way, a sharp blade.
If only Alberto knew that they have a knife on them already that they could use instead, but hey they're going to hold the mezzaluna awkwardly in one hand.]
[ He barks a laugh, putzing around in the fridge, before producing two small but still fully intact cod fish, one in each hand, with a wide, smug grin on his face... ]
Don't worry— I'm practically an expert. I'll teach you everything you need to know~
[ ... He's not an expert... But he isn't exactly lying otherwise. He can manage, since arriving in Avalon. A few months ago when he first got here? Ehhh... he might've been lying.
He slaps the two fish down on the counter, standing beside Chara, and grabs a plate from above, then a long, curved, thin fillet knife from the rack. He has... so many kinds of knives... it's really kind of excessive. He points at the herbs with it, flinging it carelessly in the air as he explains. ]
Bunch up the herbs tight with your fingers, to start... Hold the handles with both hands, and start rocking the mezzaluna back and forth, then do it the other way, and another way, pretty much every way, until they're all tiny. Got it? I'll get started on the fish.
[Chara does not believe the claim of expertise, but hey they'll do what they're told. Bunching up the herbs and such before going to chop them up with the weird knife they were given. They can, at least, follow instructions.
Even if they find the whole thing kind of stupid.]
[ Alberto smiles and nods at that, watching Chara's work out of the corner of his eye as he readies his first fish. He takes his fillet knife and starts with small cuts down the back of the fish's dorsal fin, along the bone, surprisingly careful and practiced in his angle and pressure and speed. He slowly opens the fish up, dissecting it without a hint of squeamishness as he exposes its bones and starts to cut along them to separate the first fillet. He's clearly done this before, feels comfortable with his knife — maybe even takes some fun in it, just by his movements and the soft, proud smile on his face as he cuts it up and makes conversation. ]
Sooo~ Have you had branzino before? Or pasta? Asriel said he never had pasta before I made it for him. You guys grew up eating the same foods, yeah? Uh— snail pies or something, right?
[ He's actually genuinely curious about it, what monsters in their world eat, not just making idle chit-chat to be polite, as he makes fast work of slicing his fish. ]
I ate snails as a kid, too, but— y'know— water... fire... They were just, uh, heh— snails. No pies.
[They're pretty focused on what they're doing, since they don't want to mess it up. Although they really would prefer to be using a regular knife instead of the weird thingy Alberto gave them, but they're not going to complain.]
I've ate pasta before, I didn't always live with Asriel after all. And yeah I've had snail pie, mom makes it sometimes... Well, made it I should say.
[Chop, chop, chop.]
You're missing out, on the snail pie I mean. Sadly I don't know how to make it.
Y'know, maybe we can find a recipe for snail pie on the Everything Machine, eh? I'd try it. We can learn how to cook it together — the three of us.
[ A vague sort of tenderness about this suggestion as he continues butchering with well-taught care, a la his own adoptive dad-human. ]
So— you grew up with a human family first, then, uh— you died, and moved in with your monster family? Is that how it went?
[ It's a bit of a personal question, but delivered with some casualness, as Alberto removes the first fillet, flips the fish over, so its face is now facing Chara, and starts on removing the other half with the same deftness. ]
[Chara has a hunch that no one around here would know how to make snail pie, but hey it couldn't hurt to ask.
As to the next question? It makes Chara laugh.]
No, no. I died after I lived with Asriel, I ran away from my human family and fell into the Underground where the Monsters live and that's how I met the Dreemurrs.
Eh? "A kid like me?" What's that's supposed to mean? I mean, hey— keep your secrets, ragazzo, but— I'm just asking. Y'know, as a friend.
[ He peels the second fillet off, placing it on a spare plate off to the side, and chuckles to himself a bit abruptly, breaking the tension, as he lifts the mangled fish into the air proudly. ]
Ehiii~! Finito!
[ He turns it sideways so the face is looking at Chara, holding it out toward them slightly, a smirk growing on his face. He breaks up the awkward transition with some awkward humor, naturally, putting on a silly voice and making the butchered fish's mouth move as if it were talking. ]
[ That just makes Alberto laugh, lighthearted and amused. He likes Chara's dryness — it's easy to play off of for him. He sets the fish corpse aside in the sink, its head sticking out over the edge, saving it for... god knows what...? But slaps the remaining fish on the counter between them with a wet thump, laying the fillet knife down beside it. ]
Here. Wanna trade? You do this one. It's for Sofia and Carlo, so it doesn't need to be perfect.
[ He makes good use of their limited space, shifting whatever around as needed, as he moseys in on Chara's station with the finished herbs. He grabs another plate, pours some olive oil on it with his thumb over the mouth of the bottle, scatters the chopped herbs over it, throws in a large pinch of salt and a few twists of the peppercorn grinder, and slices up some of the loaf of bread with good speed (idly eating the end that he'd already nibbled off of beforehand)... As he does, he'll give a quick verbal crash course. ]
Slice it in short, shallow cuts along the dorsal fin first — feel for the bone as a guide. From head to tail. I'm left-handed, so I put the head to the left— do what's comfortable, y'know? Then deepen your knife until it opens the fish's body easily. It's all about the angle. The top toward the head will need more force, so just go for it, heh.
[Chara listens to Alberto's explanation of how to do what is needed with the fish, before they go about trying to do as instructed.
Which they do horrendously at, using the filet knife in the most awkward way possible. They're not used to using a blade like this, so they are most certainly showing it.]
[ He lets a little silence settle, some rather more classical opera music still casually playing on his phone softly on shuffle in the background than the more pop-y music that had been on when Chara had first arrived and been quickly forgotten and blended into vague noise for their tasking, as Alberto starts to take simple enjoyment in their work. After a second, though, he does cast an observational glance over at Chara's knifework and the awkwardness makes him smile a little lopsided smirk. He gently slaps at Chara's shoulder with the back of his nearest hand, inclining his head toward the knife in their hand.
He doesn't say anything, not even something innocent like "hey" or "like this" or so. He just gives them a knowing smile, eyelids lowered warmly, and twists his own knife in his hand to show what might be a more comfortable angle for slicing an invisible fish — the way Massimo showed him how to slice fish. And likewise, it's much in the same manner Massimo taught him how to twist a fork to eat pasta, after Alberto spent so long struggling to get one single damn noodle on his fork... A gentle tip. Not a critique. Just nonjudgmental guidance. ]
[Unfortunately Chara is so focused on what they are doing they don't notice Alberto's attempt to correct them, so they keep on keeping on. Getting frustrated before, well, they're putting down the fillet knife and letting out a deep breath as they go and pull out from their waist? Their own knife, which is more like a chef's knife, and decide to use that instead.
They're certainly more comfortable with this blade, and it shows in how they go about trying to butcher the fish once more although since it's not exactly made for it? It's still a sloppy job.]
[ Alberto goes about chopping up some parsley next, resuming with the mezzaluna, but he's quickly distracted when Chara whips their own knife out of fucking nowhere???! He stares at it with wide eyes and raised brows, before a lopsided grin grows on his face and he turns his gaze on Chara themself. ]
Ehi~! Nice knife. You just carry that around, eh?
[ ...unfazed. Not creeped out at all. Ostensibly thinks it's kinda cool. Oy. ]
[Knife outta nowhere, it's a skill of theirs really. They stop what they're doing when Alberto speaks to them, looking thoughtful as if they need to think on the answer to the question.]
Well yeah, it's better to have a weapon on you just in case something goes bad than to not have one.
[Yes, they said weapon. This knife isn't for fish but for people.]
[They don't seem to be bothered by Alberto mentioning he has swords, as if a kid owning swords is perfectly normal.]
Nah, I'm only good with a knife. [And a gun, and kicking and a book and frying pan... Undertale is weird okay?] Someone threatened to teach me sword stuff, but he's not here anymore.
"Threatened?!" You don't wanna learn? Swords are cool — I mean, c'mon, I even had a sword back on my island! You should try it! We could learn together!
[ He stops chopping in his excitement, waving the mezzaluna around empathically as he speaks, as if his hands are empty and not carrying a giant blade. ]
[ Alberto's eyes light up at the showiness. Cool. ]
Heh...! I already have— this cool guy, plus this sky monster lady...
[ He's satisfied with his parsley, and steps away to grab a big pot, moving a stack of other smaller pots and pans from the stool it sits on, quite noisily and clumsily. He hands it over to Chara and points to a sea salt grinder on the counter with his other hand. ]
Here. Fill this with water and put salt in it, like, forever.
[ Then picks up the fillet knife Chara had abandoned and starts de-skinning the fillets they'd both made as he continues conversation. ]
D'you know Signora Della? She's this seagull-dack-lady I know. She wants to teach me how to fight. She and I fought a bunch of magic pumpkins together a while back and it was pretty cool. She's the one who told me I should get some swords, after she saw me fight off the scary pumpkins with my knife. But I dunno— a couple weeks ago, she told me she hates sea monsters... Said all sea creatures are disgusting and gross. So— even though she's really cool and I like her a lot— heh, I gotta be extra careful around her now, y'know?
[They have spoken to the duck woman before, and sometimes have gone over her posts even if they didn't reply to them, so they sort of know her. As they say this they're going to get the salt grinder and start filling the pot with water and salt.]
I kind of doubt she'd do anything to you if she learned the truth about you. She seems kinda... You know, wants to be a mother too much? Like she'd try too hard, even if she finds your real self gross. And anyway if she did try something? Just let me know, then she won't try anything again.
[ He barks a laugh, pausing in his skinning with his knife in midair. He's not sure why that comment rubs him the right way, because he does like Della, but it does. ]
I don't think Signora Della would try to hurt me or anything... She said she's met sea monsters, though, and everyone in her family likes the sea except her, I guess? We were looking at these beautiful magic paintings of the sea together when she told me. I guess she hates it. But... I dunno. You never know, y'know what I mean? Back home, land monsters hunted sea monsters, and— I just... wanna keep a low profile.
[ He sets aside the four skinned fillets on their own, sticking the dirty dishes in the sink, cleaning as he goes, surprisingly efficient in the kitchen. He leans over Chara and flips two burners on on the stove, one for the pot Chara prepared and another for a pan he goes to grab now. He grabs the bottle of olive oil again, eyeballing it as he pours some oil in the skillet with his thumb over the bottle's mouth casually once more, before taking the salt Chara'd used to season the fish gently on their plate. ]
Besides—
[ He slaps Chara's two sloppy fillets in first with an abruptly loud sizzle. ]
Signora Della's been fighting since she was our age. If she did decide to hurt me, ya think you could take her? Hah.
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corruptedsave) wrote2021-03-02 10:49 pm
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Ooookaaayyy...
[ He files that fact away. He knows he has gelato in the freezer, but he figures he'll wait to reveal that fact until the real meal's already underway. Not that Alberto's opposed to dessert before dinner. Or dessert as dinner. He's just already determined here.
So, with another hearty sip of his own espresso, he sets it down on the counter and starts ripping off a bunch of bits from each of the bundles of dried herbs he has hanging, laying them together on a well-worn wooden cutting board, and grabs the mezzaluna from the knife rack, and hands it gracelessly to Chara. ]
All right, then. You chop herbs.
[ Oh... ]
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And oh boy, that is some kind of knife that has been handed to them. Or... A weird chopping thing, either way, a sharp blade.
If only Alberto knew that they have a knife on them already that they could use instead, but hey they're going to hold the mezzaluna awkwardly in one hand.]
... You've never seen me cook, have you.
[Said flatly, as if this is the worst idea ever.]
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[ He barks a laugh, putzing around in the fridge, before producing two small but still fully intact cod fish, one in each hand, with a wide, smug grin on his face... ]
Don't worry— I'm practically an expert. I'll teach you everything you need to know~
[ ... He's not an expert... But he isn't exactly lying otherwise. He can manage, since arriving in Avalon. A few months ago when he first got here? Ehhh... he might've been lying.
He slaps the two fish down on the counter, standing beside Chara, and grabs a plate from above, then a long, curved, thin fillet knife from the rack. He has... so many kinds of knives... it's really kind of excessive. He points at the herbs with it, flinging it carelessly in the air as he explains. ]
Bunch up the herbs tight with your fingers, to start... Hold the handles with both hands, and start rocking the mezzaluna back and forth, then do it the other way, and another way, pretty much every way, until they're all tiny. Got it? I'll get started on the fish.
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[Chara does not believe the claim of expertise, but hey they'll do what they're told. Bunching up the herbs and such before going to chop them up with the weird knife they were given. They can, at least, follow instructions.
Even if they find the whole thing kind of stupid.]
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Sooo~ Have you had branzino before? Or pasta? Asriel said he never had pasta before I made it for him. You guys grew up eating the same foods, yeah? Uh— snail pies or something, right?
[ He's actually genuinely curious about it, what monsters in their world eat, not just making idle chit-chat to be polite, as he makes fast work of slicing his fish. ]
I ate snails as a kid, too, but— y'know— water... fire... They were just, uh, heh— snails. No pies.
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I've ate pasta before, I didn't always live with Asriel after all. And yeah I've had snail pie, mom makes it sometimes... Well, made it I should say.
[Chop, chop, chop.]
You're missing out, on the snail pie I mean. Sadly I don't know how to make it.
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[ A vague sort of tenderness about this suggestion as he continues butchering with well-taught care, a la his own adoptive dad-human. ]
So— you grew up with a human family first, then, uh— you died, and moved in with your monster family? Is that how it went?
[ It's a bit of a personal question, but delivered with some casualness, as Alberto removes the first fillet, flips the fish over, so its face is now facing Chara, and starts on removing the other half with the same deftness. ]
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[Chara has a hunch that no one around here would know how to make snail pie, but hey it couldn't hurt to ask.
As to the next question? It makes Chara laugh.]
No, no. I died after I lived with Asriel, I ran away from my human family and fell into the Underground where the Monsters live and that's how I met the Dreemurrs.
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[ No judgment in his tone as he finishes making his final slices. ]
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[It's not a nice reason, and one they prefer to keep to themselves. As they finish up with their own chopping of herbs.]
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[ He peels the second fillet off, placing it on a spare plate off to the side, and chuckles to himself a bit abruptly, breaking the tension, as he lifts the mangled fish into the air proudly. ]
Ehiii~! Finito!
[ He turns it sideways so the face is looking at Chara, holding it out toward them slightly, a smirk growing on his face. He breaks up the awkward transition with some awkward humor, naturally, putting on a silly voice and making the butchered fish's mouth move as if it were talking. ]
Ciao, Chara!
[ Yeah... "A kid like him." ]
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[Someone who doesn't know violence and bad stuff like Chara knows.
They can't help but roll their eyes at the fish shenanigans though.]
I draw the line at fish corpses, Alberto.
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Here. Wanna trade? You do this one. It's for Sofia and Carlo, so it doesn't need to be perfect.
[ He makes good use of their limited space, shifting whatever around as needed, as he moseys in on Chara's station with the finished herbs. He grabs another plate, pours some olive oil on it with his thumb over the mouth of the bottle, scatters the chopped herbs over it, throws in a large pinch of salt and a few twists of the peppercorn grinder, and slices up some of the loaf of bread with good speed (idly eating the end that he'd already nibbled off of beforehand)... As he does, he'll give a quick verbal crash course. ]
Slice it in short, shallow cuts along the dorsal fin first — feel for the bone as a guide. From head to tail. I'm left-handed, so I put the head to the left— do what's comfortable, y'know? Then deepen your knife until it opens the fish's body easily. It's all about the angle. The top toward the head will need more force, so just go for it, heh.
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[Chara listens to Alberto's explanation of how to do what is needed with the fish, before they go about trying to do as instructed.
Which they do horrendously at, using the filet knife in the most awkward way possible. They're not used to using a blade like this, so they are most certainly showing it.]
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He doesn't say anything, not even something innocent like "hey" or "like this" or so. He just gives them a knowing smile, eyelids lowered warmly, and twists his own knife in his hand to show what might be a more comfortable angle for slicing an invisible fish — the way Massimo showed him how to slice fish. And likewise, it's much in the same manner Massimo taught him how to twist a fork to eat pasta, after Alberto spent so long struggling to get one single damn noodle on his fork... A gentle tip. Not a critique. Just nonjudgmental guidance. ]
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They're certainly more comfortable with this blade, and it shows in how they go about trying to butcher the fish once more although since it's not exactly made for it? It's still a sloppy job.]
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Ehi~! Nice knife. You just carry that around, eh?
[ ...unfazed. Not creeped out at all. Ostensibly thinks it's kinda cool. Oy. ]
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Well yeah, it's better to have a weapon on you just in case something goes bad than to not have one.
[Yes, they said weapon. This knife isn't for fish but for people.]
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[ He resumes chopping parsley as if this is the most normal conversation. ]
Do you know how to use swords, too? I wanna learn how to sword fight. I have four.
[ Wh-Why does he have so much excess of everything...?! ]
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[They don't seem to be bothered by Alberto mentioning he has swords, as if a kid owning swords is perfectly normal.]
Nah, I'm only good with a knife. [And a gun, and kicking and a book and frying pan... Undertale is weird okay?] Someone threatened to teach me sword stuff, but he's not here anymore.
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[ He stops chopping in his excitement, waving the mezzaluna around empathically as he speaks, as if his hands are empty and not carrying a giant blade. ]
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[As if to make their point, they're going to twirl their knife in one hand before stabbing it into the fish's head.]
But I'm sure you can find someone who can teach you sword stuff around this place.
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Heh...! I already have— this cool guy, plus this sky monster lady...
[ He's satisfied with his parsley, and steps away to grab a big pot, moving a stack of other smaller pots and pans from the stool it sits on, quite noisily and clumsily. He hands it over to Chara and points to a sea salt grinder on the counter with his other hand. ]
Here. Fill this with water and put salt in it, like, forever.
[ Then picks up the fillet knife Chara had abandoned and starts de-skinning the fillets they'd both made as he continues conversation. ]
D'you know Signora Della? She's this seagull-dack-lady I know. She wants to teach me how to fight. She and I fought a bunch of magic pumpkins together a while back and it was pretty cool. She's the one who told me I should get some swords, after she saw me fight off the scary pumpkins with my knife. But I dunno— a couple weeks ago, she told me she hates sea monsters... Said all sea creatures are disgusting and gross. So— even though she's really cool and I like her a lot— heh, I gotta be extra careful around her now, y'know?
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[They have spoken to the duck woman before, and sometimes have gone over her posts even if they didn't reply to them, so they sort of know her. As they say this they're going to get the salt grinder and start filling the pot with water and salt.]
I kind of doubt she'd do anything to you if she learned the truth about you. She seems kinda... You know, wants to be a mother too much? Like she'd try too hard, even if she finds your real self gross. And anyway if she did try something? Just let me know, then she won't try anything again.
[Why yes, Chara did just make a threat.]
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[ He barks a laugh, pausing in his skinning with his knife in midair. He's not sure why that comment rubs him the right way, because he does like Della, but it does. ]
I don't think Signora Della would try to hurt me or anything... She said she's met sea monsters, though, and everyone in her family likes the sea except her, I guess? We were looking at these beautiful magic paintings of the sea together when she told me. I guess she hates it. But... I dunno. You never know, y'know what I mean? Back home, land monsters hunted sea monsters, and— I just... wanna keep a low profile.
[ He sets aside the four skinned fillets on their own, sticking the dirty dishes in the sink, cleaning as he goes, surprisingly efficient in the kitchen. He leans over Chara and flips two burners on on the stove, one for the pot Chara prepared and another for a pan he goes to grab now. He grabs the bottle of olive oil again, eyeballing it as he pours some oil in the skillet with his thumb over the bottle's mouth casually once more, before taking the salt Chara'd used to season the fish gently on their plate. ]
Besides—
[ He slaps Chara's two sloppy fillets in first with an abruptly loud sizzle. ]
Signora Della's been fighting since she was our age. If she did decide to hurt me, ya think you could take her? Hah.
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